Gretta
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Dear Aff... m4w
Dear Aff,
Sleeping is the worst. You are right. We are both better off. Actually, I am not. You are, though. Each day for me is like its own sorrowful life cycle. I get out of bed strong and eager to conquer my day. I get weak on my way to work and by " number send me off-color texts; my worry is honestly the same as with the ghosts, I know the chance is not real. I get home about 10 or 11. I am wiped. Tired as I may be, I sit awake for hours whittling my time away doing meaningless tasks because I know what comes next. Time for bed. I don't miss sex. I don't miss any sexual contact. I miss your body next to mine. I miss the cooing and housewives looking sex tonight TX Lubbock 79424 the softness of your breath. I miss having a mouthful of your hair as I spoon you. I miss this. We had that down. I know as I doze off that the worst lies ahead of me. My dreams are awful; gone for years, I had forgotten about them. I won't make that mistake again. They happen every night. The final, and most disappointing, part is when I wake up. There is a brief two to three second window where my brain tells my body to reach over and hug you. No one is there. I then realize what has happened, and every morning the feeling is just as new as it was when you left. The pain galvanizes me and I get out of bed strong again. Every day, this is my life. I cannot think about anything or anyone else. I know, too, that there is no returning. I know more than you how over things are. No joy comes to mind when I think about that. I have no happiness. I am destroyed and I am every bit of the humiliated fool I truly am for ever trying to make things work.
You see, things like what you texted about, shortly before I had your number blocked, those things irritate you. You don't, however, deal with the constant and humming pain, insecurity and destruction of living your own nightmares. I return to a physical location of vanquished dreams to care for a dog who likes me second best and THAT is my best friend as all the others see me for the piece of shit I am in light of your departure. Have that pain dominate your life and see how trivial your text was. You need to know the following: I got Lyme Disease from one of those ticks. For real. You need to get checked. I don't have 2 of the 4 things you asked for, and one of the two that remains is almost gone. If you really want them back, or compensation commensurate with them, I will send them TO YOU, as soon as you update your address on the online portal. I will check, don't contact me.
Finally, feel powerful. Hell, feel great! You won! You beat me worse than I could have ever imagined hurting you. You hit me when I was very down. Instead of recognizing my stress, you said "f$%^ it! I need to party". You never cared about me, my life, my family, my friends or the dog. How worthless do you think that makes me feel? What's worse, I KNEW IT ALL ALONG! Everyone warned me! All of my friends and all of my family and anyone else that happened to meet you warned me! Literally, no exaggeration, everyone! Your own mother! I tried to tell myself it simply wasn't the case, and I was wrong. I am now settling into the reality that I may never love anyone again. I love you, but I want to make it very clear that I NEVER, EVER, EVER want to see you or hear from you again. You ruined my life. You meant to cause me harm. I harbor no ill feelings toward you, even though you meant to hurt me, even though what your best friend's boyfriend told me at the Christmas party was true and that you cheated on more occasions than that, even though you never really cared about me or anything about me, I have no ill will toward you, I just want the dialogue to cease. I want no other contact. I don't hate you, I just don't want to know anything about you for the rest of my life. I need the space to reach an equilibrium with you in your utter lack of concern over the shelling of what I thought we had.
Now, here is the missed connection piece: all those years ago, you should have stuck to your guns in April. You should not have forced yourself on me in June. We missed our chance at never having been involved with each other. I missed my shot at love and a normal life. We could have been "separate trees", forever near and eternally apart. a fad. A whim of style and fashion. In the 70's it was considered masculine and sexy for men to be hairy chested and bearded things began to change in the 80's and have continued to now. Sooner or later the ideal of the hairy masculine return and all this waxing and shaving be a thing of the past. Of course it never to % liked. But the percentage of men who like hairy men increase as not the percentage of guys who like smooth men is higher.
Darline
55
Indianapolis
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I am searching man
Single
To The Point
I don't have time for games, so I'll get straight to the point. I'm a single mother, a bigger girl, and looking for someone who wants me just the way I am. I'd prefer someone my age or older, but I'm always open to suggestion. And not to be shallow, but please have a job or are in school, a car, and a place to your own. I think that's the least I can ask for by this age. Put your favorite movie in the subject line to weed out spam. Thanks for looking!! A friend of mine acts in low-budget horror films (largely as a hobby-he gets film credits but doesn't get paid, he's a frustrated actor by night, IT guy by day) he invited me to go watch one of the scenes filmed with one camera they had to re-shoot each part of the scene mutliple times from different angles, what was supposed to be a fun thing for a couple of hours turned into an all night bore-fest I felt almost as bored attending my first orgy-too guys just standing around doing nothing
Kendal
45
Bryant
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